Midna's Lament
by Lady-Valiant
Summary: Midna thinks about her relationship with Zant, before and during the events in Twilight Princess, and why she's so fond of Link. MidnaxZant, MidnaxLink.


**Author's Note: If you've read anything by me, you'll know I don't own anything.**

I don't know what happens after you die. I don't know where you are, or even if you can hear me. The Elders say that the dead can hear the thoughts of the living, and if you can, I hope you're listening. Do you remember when we were young, Zant? I do.

You were the king's son, and I was born to a noble family, second in line for the throne—only after you. We always thought you'd be king. I always thought you'd be king, and it didn't bother me…not when I was young.

I remember when we were young. I was six, and you eleven when we played in the gardens and ran through the palace grounds. Even then I was the mischievous one. I wanted to play tricks on the nobles; you wanted to keep me out of trouble. We were the best of friends.

I remember when things changed. Do you? I was eight, and you were thirteen. You no longer wanted to play in the gardens or run through the palace grounds. You know longer cared what I did. You only wanted to be king. You wanted responsibility, strength, and power. And I? I wanted my best friend…but he never came back.

I remember when you saved me. I was ten, and you were fifteen. Even in our beautiful palace, there was filth. I remember how you saved me from that criminal in our temple, and that's when I fell in love with you. I rejoiced for you'd risked your life to save mine! You did…but then, you were gone again.

I remember when you lost your temper in the council chambers. I was twelve, and you were seventeen. You didn't agree with some policy, and you screamed and attacked the kingdom's eldest advisor. What was that argument about, Zant? They never did say. I tried to comfort you, but you wouldn't have it. You pushed me away and never looked back.

I remember when I became a young woman. I was fourteen, and you were nineteen. The nobility all said I was the fairest in the realm. I worked hard to be the best. I tried to be the cleverest, the wittiest, the prettiest…and I did it all for you. I was a foolish child, but I craved your attention. All the court admired me, but why was just a single compliment so difficult for you? You ignored me for the longest time.

I remember when you noticed me again. I was sixteen, and you were twenty-one. The council encouraged you to wed, and I was the only one who could survive your temper and fight with one as fiery as your own. I was the perfect noblewoman, and I knew I could be the perfect queen. My life was perfect. You finally noticed me, and for a short time, I had my best friend.

I remember when it began to fall apart. I was eighteen, and you were twenty-three. Our arguments frequented the halls. The nobility began to whisper at your rants and tantrums. There was stunned silence in those halls when you slapped me. _He _would've ran you through if you raised a hand against me...but I'll tell you about him later. I think you know who I mean. My life was shattered. My best friend had never returned. He'd left in his place a raving madman, who'd strike someone who loved him.

I remember when the king died. I was twenty, and you were twenty-five. I had no idea the council would give me the throne, but we saw the hunger, the burning lust for power blazing in your eyes once your father died. Did you even care, Zant? Because I don't remember you shedding a tear. I'd long since lost faith in you, but I still cared, even as I was announced to be crowned queen. My best friend hated me and became my enemy instead.

I remember it all…

You banished me from the realm, stripped me of my beauty and power, but the gods sent me the Fused Shadows and the prophecy. I'll admit I was bitter. I was angry, betrayed. I felt like a flightless bird, an imp, a _filthy _wretch. Then, you tried to destroy another world, and I no longer cared. I had to save my people; I was their Twilight Princess.

I met the princess of the Light Realm, who you'd locked inside a tower. I guess you didn't think Zelda was a threat because you didn't hurt her as you did me…but then, it would be difficult for you to hurt anyone the way you hurt me. We talked, and I won't really say about what because it doesn't really matter. It's irrelevant.

So…I suppose this brings us to…_him_, doesn't it? His name is Link. Did you know that? I'm not sure you do…you never called him by his name. Zant, do you want to know just how cold you made me? Do you? Maybe you do. Maybe you don't, but you need to know.

I found Link after he was taken to the castle (so you _did _know something about the Sacred Beast! You'll have to explain that to me sometime…). The poor boy never really had a choice, and looking back, I wish I'd been nicer to him. I really didn't have to be so harsh…but I was through trusting people. I freed him from the dungeons, but I wouldn't let him be my friend. So I made him my slave instead. Well, I called him my servant, but…it was about the same thing…

I didn't see you for a long time.

Do you remember what happened when I did? Do you? Well, truly, it matters not, for I'm about to tell you. I saw it as a shadow. We'd just gotten the Fused Shadows, and I was ready to end your reign. Then, Link turned around, and there you were.

He didn't even draw his sword.

I think he was really just too stunned. Then, you did something I never thought you would. You attacked him, and he was practically still a child! You turned the lake into twilight after casting aside the spirit. Then…you turned on me.

I remember when you ripped the Fused Shadows away from me. I hated you. In memory of what we were, I can forgive you for that, but at that moment I truly hated you. Then, you _taunted _me, called _me _the traitor. Did you forget I only wanted to rule at _your _side? I never wanted the throne, but I wouldn't let you destroy our people. Honestly, Zant, did you _ever _really understand me?

I remember you threatened me. You used your magic, promised to punish me for my insolence. Well, _forgive me_¸ Your Majesty. I was defiant, even as my face was in the dirt. How had we come to that? We were best friends. I guess I'd forgotten that my best friend left, and in his place there was a madman who really wanted to hurt me. I'm curious, though. Just what did you plan to do? I'm not quite sure. All I know is that you hurt Link instead. I could've forgiven you for hurting me, but for hurting Link…well, what do you think?

Yes, he was foolish. Yes, he was stupid. You could've killed him. I'd almost say you _thought _you killed him. I always thought people changed over time—sort of like we did, but if I had to choose one moment in my life where my entire perception of the world changed…that would be the moment.

Do you remember how I ran to his side after he tried to rip out your throat and failed? I guess somewhere along the way I'd come to care. I guess some of my ice defrosted. I guess you'd found the crack in my armor. I still wish you hadn't done it. I was your enemy—not him. You could've held him with your magic, probably easier than you held me.

I was astonished when he did that. I'd been far less than kind, but he'd still tried to defend me. Do you know what was most surprising? I think I fell in love with him, then—if I hadn't already…do you know why, Zant? It's so much more than the fact that he defended me…or tried to.

I wonder what you thought then. You spoke truly when you said the Light-dweller suppressed our people—_my _people. You spoke truly when you said things would never work. Then…you asked for my power. You said the words I'd been _longing _for you to say for nearly a decade! Do you remember? You said, _I need you_.

Years before, those would've set my heart aflutter, but instead they filled me with indignation and dread. You only wanted power, and do you want to know the irony of it all? I probably would've accepted your offer, in spite of what you'd done to our people and me. Because I knew you could just change them all. You could have returned us to our glory, and I'd loved you.

I would've accepted your offer…if one of those Light-dwellers you loathed so much hadn't just risked his life to save mine. It wouldn't be fair to take away his world and everything he loved, to leave him trapped in some cursed form, or to just ignore the great loyalty he'd shown me that I didn't deserve. That was when I knew that I had to refuse. All because of one decision made by one teenage boy.

My best friend, Zant, he'd left years before, and left a power-hungry madman in his place. My friend became my enemy, and I his. Maybe that's why the gods sent Link in your stead. In another time, would we have not fought as he and I did to save all we loved? I like to think we would…but you never understood me. Who's to say I understood you?

If you ever wanted my help, you shouldn't have hurt my Light-friend. Do you remember what happened next? Well, you'll have to help me because it's a little fuzzy. You enchanted the spirit to attack me, and I nearly died. Then, the princess who you'd considered no threat, sacrificed herself to save me. The gods love irony it seems.

I saw you next at Arbiter's Grounds, in Link's shadow. It was there that you hurt me again. You taunted him. You had a monster attack him…and you never once showed to regret. You assumed that I died, and you never showed the least little shred of regret. I know I was your enemy…but did you have to hurt him, too? Of course, he survived, like he always did. I don't like to think about what would've happened if he hadn't.

Then, you committed the greatest travesty of all. You shattered the mirror. It must've been a sharp stab to your ego to know that even the_ gods _didn't recognize you as king…but you'd turned away from them long ago. You'd turned to Ganondorf, a Light-dweller. Now remind me, Zant. What was it you said about them? We couldn't consort with them? Oh, dear Zant, I'm convinced now; the gods _love _irony.

I asked Link to help me, and he accepted. I hadn't ever asked him to do anything, but I didn't want to face you alone. Cowardly? Perhaps, but if you were still my friend, I would've wanted you there. We did it, and then…we went to face you.

Were you truly mad or just throwing a tantrum? I honestly couldn't tell, and I was torn. I was _terrified _for my wolf-boy, but…a small part of me didn't want him to hurt you. You seemed to be in so much pain, and you were so alone. You never should've taunted me. I attacked you with the Fused Shadows; I _destroyed _you. I felt the power you'd talked so much about, and I understood how you felt. I was afraid, though…a little bit. I…I still can't say how I felt. If you'd told me as a child that I'd kill you for the sake of our people and some Light-dweller, I would've called you insane. And yet…it happened.

Your god didn't save you, and in case you care, he was defeated. My beauty was restored. My faith was restored, and I'd fallen in love… You were right, though. It would've never worked—even if Link loved me back. I suppose I could've left the mirror whole. I didn't think I'd be able to keep from seeing him, though, and that wouldn't be fair to him. He didn't deserve to be torn between two worlds, and the Twili didn't deserve a queen torn between two worlds. So I shattered the mirror…and I'll never forget the devastated look on his face.

I don't know if he loved me or not. We never discussed our feelings for each other that much. Do you know what hurt the most? The look on his face reminded me so much of how I felt when I lost _my _best friend. At least, he has Zelda to watch over him. So. Do you know why I really loved Link? Have you figured it out yet? I think Zelda might know, but…I want you to know, too.

It's morbid…but now that you're dead…I can talk to you like you're my best friend again. Do you remember that, Zant? When we were friends? Gods, I wish you could answer…but…Zant, I did love him. I still do.

I love him because he reminds me of who you used to be.


End file.
